Not thinking of him

I don’t understand why I can’t stop thinking of him even if I want to stop thinking of him. My mind tells me to stop thinking of him, but the more I follow my mind, the more I think of him. I would love to stop thinking of him, but then I just can’t, and so I have to accept the fact that no matter how much I decline to think of him, I would still be thinking of him, and only the Big Man Upstairs knows when I will stop thinking of him or if I will ever stop thinking of him.

Thinking of him makes me happy, and when I am happy I continuously convince myself that I am doing the right thing, and that is to think of him even if like what I said, I refuse to think of him. I guess the more you avoid to think of someone, the more you’ll be thinking about him.

So, I’ve been thinking of him while we were texting. I’ve been thinking about him after we texted. I’ve been thinking about him while I’m doing my work. I’ve been thinking of him while I’m eating. I’ve been thinking of him while I was reading Twisted. I’ve been thinking of him while I’m slicing pumpkin and string beans. I’ve been thinking of him while I’m texting my mom. I’ve been thinking of him while I’m doing this. I’ve been thinking of him before I sleep. I’ve been thinking of him when I wake up, and who knows, I must’ve been thinking of him while I was sleeping.

I just can’t stop thinking of thinking about him!

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~ by Asian Butterfly on August 11, 2009.

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