I don’t want the perfect you

Being sad and getting hurt…it’s all I get for friendship, but who cares? I don’t.

When I said, the heart can never be taught what to feel, that is what I believed. So when I said you are fascinating, that is what I felt. So when I said I can go miles for friendship, that is what I will do. It does matter how long, and it does matter when. With this predicament, I’m trying to cut the waiting short, as long as I can.

I’m not ranting, I am just expressing what I feel. How could you say it won’t even take long before I turn away from you because of the pain and bad luck your life will bring to me? That was like a slap to my face. You said I need to become a strong glue if I’m going to fix you. I can be, and I will be, but how can I fix someone who is not willing to be fixed? How can I make you realize that life is not only beautiful to the people you helped, but also beautiful for you because you were the one who helped? You saying I lighten your shoulders is not enough for me to feel relaxed and at ease. I want to be closer, but your door is shut, and even said you hate people peering into your heart. It’s all raining inside there, and you don’t even realize that I’m out here, outside, already cold, but still willing to be wet.

No, I’m not interested in you because you are broken. I am interested in you because you are still beautiful. I can never make you whole, I can try fixing you but you will never be whole, wounds will mend, but the scars will stay forever.

Someday, I would love to see those scars. Not because I would love to see you flawed. It’s because everytime I will feel or see those scars, they will remind me that somehow, I am the reason why they are healed.

I don’t want the whole you, the perfect you. I just want the true you…imperfectly perfect.

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~ by Asian Butterfly on August 18, 2009.

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