Why the hell do I need to postpone my trip just so you could have someone to stay with you the whole night?

Did you think of me during the times that you left me alone because you wanted to be with your boy friend’s family?

Why do I need to consider you when you don’t even consider how I feel whenever you text about lovey dovey messages, which are not even supposedly group sent?

Why do I need to stay there or come early this Sunday just to listen to your love stories, when here I am crying and broken?

Will you consider about not talking about your boyfriends knowing the fact that my heart is aching? No, you won’t, because you are too overwhelmed with your feelings.

All my life, I tried to be a good friend. I became more selfless for friendship. I tried to listen to your rants, your sulking, your despair and everything else. Sure, you did listen too, but not now. Not so much now, because you no longer understand me. Because you listen to your in love heart now more than you could ever listen to mine.

So, don’t you think it’s better for me to just stay away for at least a few days?
C’mon, I’m trying to pick up myself again, and you will still think of your own interest? Telling me what about G now, and what about you now?

I’m not mad at you or G. I am happy about what’s been happening in your lives. I really am. Just please, try to understand me this time. I don’t wanna tell my stories, I don’t want sympathy right now. I’m a grown up. I know what I am doing, and I know that what I am doing is the right thing to do. At least for me.

I don’t wanna be around happy people right now, because I am not happy. I want to be alone.

Let me be.


~ by Asian Butterfly on August 21, 2009.

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